Pen pals and dating

“He said he’d put his ad up on Craigslist as kind of a spoof — he wanted to see what it was about — and never thought anything would come of it.Then he started developing real feelings for me but had spun the web of lies so big, he couldn’t get out of it.“A woman might feel really smart and attractive when she’s online because she comes up with a lot of witty things to say, she controls the pictures that she sends and she meets a man who does the exact same thing,” says Wallace, author of “The Psychology of the Internet.” “They can have a magical interaction — a meeting of the minds, sort of — whereas meeting in person would just spoil it.He stutters; she burps.” Long-term elationships Incredibly, some virtual relationships last as long as the real thing.Then he starts playing the hurt puppy and sending passive-aggressive texts.I finally texted him and said, ‘I think we’re having a miscommunication.’ ” According to psychologist Patricia Wallace, elationships can be troublesome because of the opportunity for deception and the false sense of intimacy (“You don’t have those salient cues that would tell you to put on the brakes so you’re more intimate than you should be.”) But that doesn’t mean they’re all bad.C., who in recent months found a “peach” of a girlfriend and left the online scene. I didn’t have the time to waste.” Harem scarem Why would someone spend all that time communicating with a person they never planned to meet?

“I’m an attractive, successful woman from a good family with great values and amazing friends,” she says. With online dating and e-mails and texting, you can take things to a point where you still feel like you are ‘dating’ and getting attention without having to deal with all the rest.

“It’s the online equivalent of ‘going out for cigarettes,’ ” says one seasoned single.

Now, there’s a new online annoyance — the person who doesn’t want to meet but is all too happy to e-mail, text, tweet, IM, or scrawl on your Facebook wall indefinitely.

“She has 12 to 15 guys all commenting on her posts and looking to get with her but she’s only interested in the attention.

She’s told me plainly that she’s not interested in meeting anybody, she just wants to feel like people want her every now and then.” Jennifer Worick, author of “The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating & Sex,” says people do have different agendas when it comes to dating.

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